Guarded Hearts

If you read my first post and you’re back, I’m thankful you stuck with me. I am aware that vulnerability looks crazy in a world full of people conditioned to wear masks. However, I don’t need another highlight reel so I know a lot of you don’t either. Life isn’t perfect like social media portrays. We are messy human beings with fragile hearts, navigating a complex world for the very first time. None of us chose the parents we were born to, the country we were born in, the color of our skin, or the body we would have. People need compassion more than anything to be seen just as they are and fully loved.

Full disclosure: I don’t intend to be cookie-cutter or appear to have it all figured out. I’m still very human, learning and walking out my salvation one day at a time. So, I’m going to preach to the choir for a second. You know the Southern saying, “Bless their heart, all we can do is pray,” said while their nose is turned up? I think that’s what we’d call a modern-day Pharisee. I cringe saying this, but I used to be critical in that same way obsessed with rules, trying to take the speck out of everyone else’s eye, not realizing I too was blind. I always knew what I would do better and thought, “That could never be me.”

It’s interesting that Jesus said in Matthew 21:31–32 that “the prostitutes and tax collectors will enter the kingdom of God before you.” He was speaking to people who knew His will but didn’t follow it, versus those who later turned from their ways, repented, and believed. In college, I joined a ministry where, during one mission, people on the front lines would go to strip clubs and hand out purple shirts that read, “Jesus loves strippers,” ministering to the women who worked there. The stories we heard were gut wrenching many had been sold into it as children and knew no other life. We truly do not know what people have been through or what led them to the decisions they made.

There was a turning point when I realized Jesus wasn’t concerned with us being perfect performers who always get it right; He was concerned with the condition of our soul. The irony is, I didn’t have much compassion for people until Jesus had compassion for me. I was not left unscathed (Luke 7:47). I went from judging to being deeply moved by the brokenness in this world almost to the point of wanting to take on everyone’s pain and save them.

Don’t get me wrong Jesus doesn’t love sinners because He condones sin, nor does He chase people down to validate and coddle them. No- when I truly allowed God to work in me, it was some of the darkest days of my life. Healing is messy. Facing yourself, the coping mechanisms you built around wounds and behaviors you normalized. The roots go deep. I remember complaining to God, “Things looked better when I lived for the world: less rejection, less warfare, and at least my masks worked.” But Revelation tells us exactly where that path leads. So no, I don’t miss living for the world. I also no longer compare my life to others, because I know now that what’s portrayed on the outside never accurately reflects what’s happening on the inside. If you do the work and you push through, there is nothing in this world that can be compared to the joy and peace you receive on the other side of going all in.

Switching gears - have you ever been so empathetic, so understanding of people’s problems, that you took them on and tried to fight their demons for them? Where is the line between being too critical and being too passive? After years of struggling with people-pleasing and savior tendencies, I realized that being the devil’s advocate is not godly. People-pleasing, condoning poor behavior, being a doormat, or taking abuse is not loving others or honoring God. Even Jesus asked people if they wanted to be healed before healing them (John 5:6). He walked away from those who chose not to be healed and withheld miracles from many because of their lack of faith (Matthew 13:58).

When I detached other people’s behavior from the outcome of my healing and instead sought Jesus and His will for my life is when real growth began (Matthew 6:33). God doesn’t want us walking through hell with people who refuse help. He warns us: “Bad company corrupts good character” (1 Corinthians 15:33). Instead, He tells us in Matthew 10:13–14 to let our peace rest where it’s welcomed and to take it back when it’s not. I’m a peacemaker and love reconciliation, but Scripture also warns us not to cast pearls before pigs (Matthew 7:6).

"People don't change" is the greatest lie from the enemy. You and I can decide to wake up tomorrow and be completely different. I love to say "If God can create the whole world in just 7 days, imagine what all He can do in our life in those same 7 days. God is not limited to ANYTHING. That is why there is immense power in forgiveness, mercy, and praying for people. However, we are called to have compassion, but not to confuse compassion with passivity. What God is teaching me is that it’s possible to love people, honor them, and still guard our heart. “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it” (Proverbs 4:23).

Please pray with me:

Father God, thank You for being our protector. We can love people fiercely knowing You are our ultimate source of love. Freely we receive, so freely we give. Protect us from the schemes of the enemy that try to damage our ability to give and receive love. Keep our hearts soft but strong and make us wise. Lord, you say loving others is the second greatest commandment, so help us love people well while guarding our hearts. We love You and thank You for what You are doing in us. In Jesus’ name, Amen

(Some of the girls in our family on thanksgiving this year)